Well, this is a first. I've never done anything like this before and I'm not sure how it will be but I'll give it a go. I'm having a bit of trouble sleeping tonight. My mind keeps going. I'm currently on leave from work due to a minor surgery, so I have a lot of time on my hands. I'm not used to this and have been struggling a bit with what to do with myself. The first few days were a blur of pain meds and sleep. I couldn't focus, so I didn't get much accomplished except for sleep. Now I'm feeling a bit better, although I'm still restricted from work and normal activity.
So today, I felt like I needed to do something. I've downloaded my textbook for my first summer course, but am not feeling much motivation. There's only a two week break, so I'd rather not spend that reading up for my summer course. I did some research and created some forms for my Union shop, but lost focus rather quickly. So I decided to start reading The Five Minds of the Future by Howard Gardner.
I've read Gardner's Multiple Intelligences years ago and enjoy his theory and writing style. His discussion in the Five Minds of the Future is focused on the minds that he feels people and societies need to develop and encourag in order for people to function in the society of the future. Although I haven't gotten far, he focuses on including cultural competance, citing an increased ease in connecting with others from across the globe (blogging is a perfect example). I've very interested to get further into the meat, so to speak, of his discussion.
Regardless, his writing style includes using relative examples to further illustrate his points. One of his examples in regards to his proposed "disciplined mind" revolved around a member of a work force moving into a management position and attempting to maintain his previous friendships with workers in the company. Ultimately, the new manager realizes he cannot maintain these friendships in the same regards and moves away from those friends.
This is where we get to why my mind won't stop going tonight. This example struck a chord in me because it recently occurred at my work. I had a friend I cared about deeply recently move from being a co-worker to a member of middle mangement. Without going into the dirty details of everything that has happened in the two months since this move occurred, I'll say that he has turned his back on people who have supported him through life and career challenges, people who had his back no matter what. These people he has turned from are some of the most intelligent, supportive and loyal friends someone could ask for. I know because they are my friends as well. Our group cares not only about ourselves and each other, but about people and the world in general.
Despite reading Gardner's example and explanation on discipline, I'm struggling to understand how someone can do that to people they at one time had called friends. This is what has kept my mind spinning tonight when I should be sleeping. How can someone turn their back on others who have been there for them and care about them? How can someone choose to turn their back on a cause they defended to argue from the other side? Why do I care when others seem to be able to quickly abandon people and things they at one time identified as important? And why does moving along on your career path need to change other areas of your life?
I've thought about a number of ways of approaching this person. I could go into his office, shut his door, and scream at him, like I promised him I would do if he sold out. I could confront him appropriately and talk with him about it. I could do nothing and move forward seeing this as a learning opportunity.
Where I'm at now, I believe I will not waste my time and energy confronting him, but use this opportunity to develop a better understanding of people and relationship dynamics. I will use this opportunity to learn to develop better boundaries and to trust my instincts. I will use this opportunity to not become jaded and guarded, but to motivate and encourage loyalty and change within myself and others.
I find myself asking what is my definition of success? To me, success is remembering who I am regardless of where my life takes me and continuing to support, encourage, and challenge those I care about and remind them to do the same for me.
Success is being able to love and appreciate yourself, no matter what. When one has reached success, whether it's waking up in the morning or getting that "big break" you feel good about yourself and the people around you, that truly care about you, experience that same success. There are a lot of people that dilute their self into thinking that success is only tangible, but realistically, it's intrinsic. I've seen you experience so many successes: going back to school, being a mom, leading others in both leadership and activity in the Union....the list goes on and on. Tangible success may help wet the palate, but it does not quench the thirst. The ones who experience it will never truly feel good about what they've done, which will eventually eat at them (no matter how narcissistic they are). Continue, my dear doppleganger, to continue to reach those intrinsic successes, for the ones that love you can't wait to celebrate them with you. I heart you.
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